


shadows and ghosts

by thenightpainter



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Credence is a bit of a stalker in obscurus form but with good intention, Forests, Graves is in a bad place, Healing, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Is that how wandless magic even works?, Loss of Identity, M/M, Mountain man Graves, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Original Percival Graves, Recovery, References to Depression, Wandless Magic, made up magic methodologies and history, reference to Grindelwald inflicted injury, some graphic description of injury, who's homophobia i don't know them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-24 20:46:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9785495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenightpainter/pseuds/thenightpainter
Summary: After escaping being imprisoned by Grindelwald and returning back to his job, Graves was unable to resume regular life. Graves couldn't trust anyone, not Piquery, not his aurors, not his wand, not even his face. He was haunted by every reflection and every odd look he get. He shuddered every time he heard the name of the dark wizard, and he could almost feel a shadow following him, whispering his name.After giving nearly 20 years of his life to MACUSA, in the spring of 1927 Percival graves left his job as director of magical security. He left New York and going by another first name went to see a piece of land in the mountains once owned by his family. In an area with a small secluded magical community. A place he hopes no one will recognize him and he hopes he can finally shake Grindelwald's presence. Yet the shadow had followed him, it calls to him in the night, and there are times where he sees a dark figure watching him from the woods.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone go look at the movie aesthetic board my friend Mak made for this: [ here](http://bygoneboy.tumblr.com/post/157225337442/who-are-you-what-are-you-why-did-you-follow-me)

 

Graves is walking down a street on his way home. He walks past an alley. He can almost feel something following him, a shadow. It’s not  _ him _ , for it can’t be, the man is locked up. It can’t be a ghost, he’s checked, this must be his own mind. 

_ Mr Graves... _ it whispers, muffled by the wind. Why is there even wind? There wasn’t any moments ago.

_ Mr Graves… _ the whispers continue. 

~~~

Returning to his position as Director of Margical Security had proved to be more difficult than he had thought. The looks he still got daily, even months after escaping from the dark wizard, were enough to scare most people out of the job. 

Graves had changed, he didn’t know if he believed in the same principles he had before. He was unable to trust anyone he worked with again, he knew the feeling was mutual, yet he was the one with valid reason. His impersonator had ordered the deaths of a former auror and british citizen, without a trial, and no one, even for one minute, had questioned his orders. On top of that, MACUSA had ordered the killing of an obscurus, Tina had described the situation to him, and the actions of those aurors angered him. This seemed to be a common approach in MACUSA, killing the threat first, asking questions later, destroying the lives of many wizards in the process. How had the obscurus come about in the first place? Of course Graves would not voice those opinions out loud to anyone. 

When he returned, he couldn’t stand the look of his old office, he could still  _ smell him  _ there. He’d basically threatened some other department head into switch offices with him. He couldn’t wear his suits anymore, or his coats. He burned everything he still had in his house and went searching through things he had stored away. He had found the old leather coat he had worn as an auror and bought some more basic shirts and suits, cottons, wools, no fancy fabrics. Normally people would have objected to his wardrobe choices given it didn't represent his position of authority, but it seemed no one was willing to approach him about it. 

He’s cut his hair short at first, getting rid of as much that was in contact with  _ that place  _ as possible. It had grown out since and he let it be. He had grown a beard, at least something to hide some of his features, make him less recognizable as his old self, not so much for others, but to ease his own ability to look at his own reflection. 

Things were almost going well, not like they had before certainly, but Graves had found a balance between how much to trust and getting his job done efficiently. He was different in his work, more angry, reckless, he’d be the first one to run out and fight in a duel, or enter somewhere dangerous. He rarely reached for his wand anymore, and when he did spells would never come out right. He’d lost the cool, calm, collected exterior he was able to keep before, he grew far harder to read, more unpredictable. Before, many people were afraid of him because of his authority, now some were also genuinely terrified of him.

Finally, in April of 1927, Percival Graves had enough. The backwards laws and inability to trust anyone had gotten to him. He couldn't trust anyone, not Piquery, not his aurors, not his wand, not even his face. After giving nearly 20 years of his life to MACUSA, Percival Graves left his job as Director of Magical Security. He sold his new apartment, his old house, and many of his possessions. He bought an automobile, several pairs of outdoor boots, and some amount of casual clothing. He left New York City to go live in an old piece of land in the mountains once owned by his family in an area known to have a small but very old, secluded magical community. 

~~~

The Adirondack mountains were starting to become a popular place for New Yorkers to vacation. But away in the mountains, in the most uninhabited woods, before it became a resort destination, it was a place of magic, old magic too. Many had escaped the Salem trials by traveling there. For a long time it was mostly untamed forests, including scattered small towns with farmers and logging mills. Odd things, magical things, could happen there and it would not be hugely noticed. 

Some of the earliest American Graves had a place up there, but no one had lived there in at least 50 years, likely more. Graves remembers riding up to the place, seeing the old cottage as a child with his brother and sister. However, since his grandparents died there was no one around keep up the place. There’s an old enchantment on the land, so he’d been told, only a Graves and those they allow can step on the land. Graves had assumed that was some family legend or a joke, something told to children, but he rather hoped it was true. 

Graves drove up the road on the way to the piece of land. He had barely seen anyone else for hours. The place is beautiful, the mountains and the lakes everywhere, it  _ feels _ magical. As he drove around a bend, he has to stop. There was an old woman in the middle of the road, she was dressed in old style robes, the type that no one’s in the city had worn in a very long time. He pulled over to the side of the road and got out of the car. 

Graves felt uneasy, she looked right at him, as though she could see through him to his soul.   

“Careful where you tread, wizard” she simply says “You’re from the city, I can tell, where are you headed.”

“The old Graves land.” He says.

“You seem to know where you are going, so you must know only a Graves can enter.”

“Yes, and I am. I’m Martin, Martin Graves.” He gave her the name he had been using up to that point. It seemed useless, she must know it was not his real name. 

“Ah, good to see a Graves in these parts again, it’s been a while. I’m sorry to hear about your relative Percival, I hope that poor man is able to recover.”

“Yes, I hope so too, thank you.” She knew who he was, he was certain, he could feel his heart racing. 

“Be on your way now,  _ Martin _ . But watch out, there are things in these woods, nothing like you’ve seen in the city.”She knew, but she seemed to understand his situation, he was relieved. “Before you go, there’s barely been anyone up the road in decades, there was a storm years ago, I’m afraid you won’t be able to drive up. You’ll have to walk the last few miles.”

Graves thanked the woman and returned to the car. When he sat back inside, he looked back to see she had vanished. He hadn’t heard anything, no apparation, she couldn’t have moved that fast. He shuddered.  

He drives up further, to find the road breaking away and trees toppled over the remains. Parking the car at the side of the road he gathered his his things, taking two suitcases and walks into the woods. He was glad he packed light, only the clothing he needed, and spare boots. It was getting dark so he left several things, mostly all his books, in the car and strode down the path. 

There was magic at work there, old markings on the trees remained, barely anything grew on the path despite the fact that no one was there for years. As soon as the cottage was in sight, Graves began to feel the strength of the wards, maybe there was something in that legend after all. 

The place was immaculately preserved, as the result of more magic he was sure. The wards were strong around the door, he felt, it unlocked as he placed his hand on it. As he walked in a fire ignited, the place was neat, clean despite a bit of dust, like it had been preserved like that for years, waiting for someone. It was brought to alive again, almost as if it knew he was coming.  

Once he set everything down and became acquainted with the place, Graves took out a small cedar box from his bag. Inside, his wand, or rather the wand belonging to the man he used to be, the wand used by the man pretending to be him. A wand was meant to be something that’s an extension of one’s magic, but it seemed that the dark magic of that man had tainted it, corrupted it. It was lined with cracks, it was unpredictable now. It must have fought him at first, but in the end, just like Graves himself,  _ that man _ had broken it, made it yield to him. He couldn’t possibly leave it anywhere else, MACUSA had given it back to him, but he couldn’t use it anymore.

Digging a small hole outside, the sets to box down in the ground. Slowly he buries the box. It was like burying a small part of himself, a part of himself that had died. He scoffs. That wasn't entirely right, it wasn’t a part of him that had died, Percival Graves was dead. The man who he was before was dead, and there was only this ghost, this shell of him left that seems to have survived. But a flame remained, the flame that had kept him alive for those month, the flame that had dragged him out of that place, the flame that had made him leave New York, it certainly wasn’t going out any time soon. 

Returning to the cabin Graves, hands covered in dirt, he found a basin, closing his eyes he put his hands around it, focusing. It filled with water, and he washed off his hands off. It would be wandless magic here on out for him. He had always been more accustomed to it, even as a child. He’d relied on wands and incantations for the most part as an auror and mainly the late 25 years, but it had reignited in him again when he broke out of that hole. It seemed a lot more fitting with his new found anger too. He wasn’t sure if it was this place, the forest, but he felt a stronger connection. He was sure he’d be able to fill the tub in the corner when he needed. 

Graves had brought bread and enough extra food to last him a couple days but he’d have to go into town soon. He eats a sandwich beside the fire and decides after a long day to go to bed early. Graves was pleasantly surprised to realize the cottage was larger than it first seemed on the outside, and furnished well. There was a large armchair, a large desk, dining table. There was a separate bedroom, and Graves found the bed to be quite large surprisingly. It was a shame Graves wouldn’t be able to sleep in it. 

After spending several months sleeping on the cold hard ground of the place  _ he _ had kept him, Graves couldn’t feel right in a bed again. Graves had freed himself from the place after  _ he _ had failed to check up the wards in a few day. Despite his broken limbs, Graves had crawled out onto the street, bleeding, once the aurors had found him they weren’t sure it was him after all. He was kept in a cell for another day before taken off to the hospital. After that he had gone into a coma for several weeks, the strain on the escape and going through all the tests MACUSA had to run on him had finally taken it all out of him.

When Graves got back to his old house he couldn’t sleep for days, the time in the hole kept running back, he could still feel  _ him _ in that apartment. In desperation he had called Tina to stay at his place. She had offered him to take one of the spare beds, but he just couldn’t sleep there. She found him sleeping on the floor beside the bed. She had told him it was bad, that he was only making his healing harder, it would only makes his joints ache more. She didn’t understand, in the bed he felt like drowning, it was too soft. The floor felt familiar, but they compromised on a rug. Graves had been sleeping on a rug in his brand new appartment weeks later. And here he was again, rolling out a rug in front of the fire. At least it would be warm.    

~~~

Graves woke in the middle of the night from a nightmare. Being in the hole again, legs shattered, chained up, unable to scream anymore. He woke up sweating, but he found himself alone on the rug in front of a now only glowing fire, the lantern on the table still burning.

Fuck it was quiet here, he thought. In the distance an owl hooted, it was wild, not like the messenger owls in the city. Getting up off the floor Graves lit another lantern and steps outside. 

It was an early spring here, the night wasn’t too cold. Or at least that was what Graves thought, after all those weeks in the hole, he had trouble with temperature. He looked up, he could see stars, all the stars, the sky was full of them. Graves’ hadn’t seen so many since he was a child. In the city you couldn’t see them like this, but here there was nothing, no other light possibly blocking them out. 

Looking up, Graves stood there, bare feet on the leaves, slight breeze blowing his hair and shirt. Graves felt grounded. He remembered where he was, he could feel the magic around, he reached his hands out to feel it better. Graves felt powerful for a change. He stared at the stars some more and took a number of breaths before going inside again.

~~~

Graves slept peacefully, dreamless, for some time before being awakened by a familiar sound.  _ Mr. Graves...   _

A chill ran across Graves’ entire body and he shot up. 

_ I’m here… Mr Graves… _

It’s calling from outside, but also from all around, it beckons him. It’s another nightmare, he’s sure of it. He opens the door anyways, here’s nothing there, but he stepped out. Absolutely nothing. It was dawn, the birds were singing in the distance, but then out of the corner of his eye, a blur. A figure, pitch black.  

_ Mr Graves… where are you… _

He freezes, his blood runs cold, but the figure disappears. Graves returns inside. He finds a the bottle of whisky in his suitcase and drinks a glass, or what he presumes was a glass, he didn’t exactly have on hand, from the bottle. He then goes into the bedroom, sitting on the bed. He barely even notices as he slips back asleep. 

~~~

Graves wakes again several hours later, the sun was up. He was awkwardly stretched across the bed, but it felt alright, not like drowning in the softness. Graves suppose he’ll go bring the rest of his supplies out from the car, then venture into the nearby town. This time he didn’t carry the things, he floated them out one by one towards the cottage. The seclusion of the place made it easy for him to practice as much magic as he’s like, which was difficult in the city. 

After everything is in the cabin, Graves makes his way out to the car again and decides to make his way into one of the nearby towns. It took Graves an hour and a half to arrived in the village. The good thing about this becoming a vacation spot was the availability of modern things he would likely need, The first thing he did was get gas. 

While stopped there he notices a couple talking, apparently there were several accounts of disembodied voices in the town, something whispering, looking for something, asking for help. The two were looking for ghosts. Graves knew it wasn’t a ghost, but he was slightly relieved to know that he wasn’t losing his mind, even if something was haunting the place.

Graves had returned to the cottage with some extra supplies and food. He put it away in the cupboards and started unloading his books. He had a spell on some of his suitcases, making them fit more on the inside. It was nothing like the one Tina’s friend had, apparently the man was living out of that thing with hundreds of beasts, a terrifying thought. Graves had done the spell on these rather haphazardly with his wand a week earlier, it had come out rather off, the space inside was weird. Though, after all it did the job so Graves was satisfied. 

He ran a hand across his face. Graves was sick of the beard. It hid his face but it feels like a mask, it was messy. He never wanted to be like those wizard with the long beards. No one would recognize him here, it should be fine he thought, it was time to go back to shaving. Carefully Graves took the straight razor out of his suitcase. Filling the basin with water again, Graves slowly removes the paper he’d put over the mirror, the thing was old, warped and dust but he could still see the face that had haunted him staring back. Graves shuddered, it was still difficult to looks at it. He lifts the razor and runs it across his jaw. 

But as soon as the cold blade meets his skin he’s there again. In the place, chained to a chair.  _ He  _ is there, walking around him with a knife, slicing his skin here and there, then healing him and starting over. “It’s far more entertaining this way” he had said, “besides if you bleed out, that there would be no more fun for us, would there?” It was his voice. He had done it wearing Graves’ face, his suit, his scarf, all of which would usually end up covered in Graves’ own blood by the end.     

Graves dropped the razor, it fell to the floor and clattered, the sound bringing him back. He was sweating, short of breath, hands grasping the counter, he looks up and sees that face again, staring him in the mirror. It’s the rage that fills him now, that face, that man had taken everything Graves had once enjoyed away. His jaw was bleeding where he had tried to shave it, but didn't care. His hand curled into a fist, Graves couldn't take it anymore, he punched through the glass, pieces falling into the water, across the floor. His hand bled, bits of glass imbedded between his knuckles. The blood dripped in the water, and across the floor. Graves couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it. 

He sat on the floor and started crying. Why had he even come here? How did he ever think he could manage living like this is he couldn’t even shave his own face. He couldn’t stand being around other people, but he could stand being alone, with himself. He rolled out on the floor and wept. 

~~~

When Graves finally decided to get up the sun had set. His whole arm hurt, there was blood pooling on the floor. With his other hand he sat himself up. He began picking the glass out of his hand. Graves wasn’t as bothered by this as many would, even before  _ him _ , Graves had been through a war and had been an auror for 20 years, he’s had his fair share of curses and injuries. Ultimately, smashing a mirror with his fist did not compare to the sight of having his own skin cut up repeatedly and seeing his own bones sticking out of his skin. 

He removed as much glass as he could and healed his hand. The pain was still there, but he was no longer bleeding. He proceeded to clean up the floor and everything around. The next thing Graves would do was fix the mirror. Standing in front of it, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, he picking up all the pieces, he could feel all the shards floating around him. With another motion he sent then back into the frame to arrange themselves as they had once been, he could hear all the cracks mending. Without looking into the thing again, Graves covered it with a towel he had lying nearby. 

Graves looked around him, there were no signs of the incident that occurred earlier left. As if nothing had happened, the fire was burning and some of the lamps had turned on. The night was approaching and Graves decided he would go to sleep early, perhaps even sleep on the bed this time.  

No, the bed was still too soft, but he had taken one of the pillows with him onto the rug that night. He would only hope that the shadows wouldn’t haunt him tonight. 

~~~

Graves woke to howling and the sound of the lamp outside knocking against the side of the cottage. There were wolves howling in the distance, he knew what those were, this was something else, almost human. He sat up, suddenly a shadow passed across the cottage, the lamps flickered. Something was out there. 

_ Mr. Graves... _

Graves knew better than to go outside, but he wasn’t listening to his instincts. He opened the door and stepped out onto the ground. In the light of the full moo, he saw it. The figure… it was hard to make out but it looked like a boy, but it was dark and blurry, it swallowed all light around it. It drifted in and out of it’s shape as it ran into the trees. Graves knew better, he really did, yet he called out to it. 

“Who are you? What are you?”

There was no reply but the figure stopped.

“Why did you follow me here? Why are you haunting me?” Graves wanted answers, he was almost begging the thing. It still did not answer, but it faded away into the forest. 

Graves was bewildered. The thing could have killed him, right there and then, but it did not… it was almost like it was afraid of him.  

Graves returns to his rug and pillow. He took a long drink of the whisky for good measure. He drifted in and out of sleep many times before the rising sun and sound of the birds woke him in the morning.

He decided that going into the town again might not be the best idea. Besides, it looked like the wood, or whatever the fire had been running on was running out. After eating some more bread, Graves gets dressed and heads out again. 

He’d never considered toppling trees over with magic, but given he didn’t have a good idea of how exactly to cut one down, that would have to be the way to do it. He’d found an old axe outside the cottage, it was alarmingly sharp after so long, but then again, with the magic around here it really shouldn't come as a surprise. Walking far enough away from the cottage to avoid dropping a tree on it, Graves finds what he thinks is a suitably dry tree and get to work. 

He imagines it splitting several feet above the base of the trunk. He stretches out his hands and focuses. There’s a loud crack and then the thud of the large tree hitting the floor of the forest, Graves could feel it from where he stood. The sound echoed and many scared birds flew away from the scene, he could hear a number of crows. 

Graves smiled a little at this. He would consider this a success for today. Given how large the tree was he had to chop it in half and take the rest back to the cabin for firewood. He left it outside and went back in the cottage to get a drink before going back out to chop the thing. When Graves went out to pick up the axe again he feels a breeze that hadn’t been there before. Graves ignores it and continues chopping the wood, but before long the surrounding forest starts to grow dark and a familiar shape emerges in the corner of his eye. He drops the axe and looks over. 

There is was, the shadow. In the light Graves could see it clearer, it was shaped like a person but was made of black, absorbing the surrounding light, there was almost smoke coming off it. When it notices Graves looking at it it starts to fade, but Graves can’t let disappear again, he needed answers. 

“Wait! You! Why are you following me?”

It keeps fading.

“Answer me!” he snaps, but then realizing they might not be the best way of going about this, softly he adds, “Please.”

The figure starts returning to its human form again.

“If you’re not planning on hurting me, I won’t hurt you… I just want some answers.” Graves says, softer, walking out towards it. 

It had started growing lighter again in the forest, and it seemed like the figure was giving off less smoke. As Graves approached closer, he could almost mistake it for a boy. No, it was a boy, a man maybe, no longer a shadow. Graves’ saw it’s back. Dark clothes ripped and torn, stained in blood. It slouched, messy black hair sticking up. As it turned around, Graves saw his dark eyes, pale face and unmistakable features.

The pieces came together. This was the obscurus. He had survived, and somehow followed him out here. 

Graves looked at the pale boy standing hunched in front of him. Graves was relieved to see that he had survived. This young had been used by Grindelwald, and then almost murdered by MACUSA. 

“Your name is Credence Barebone, isn’t it?”

He nods. Graves walks closer.

“I understand now. I’m not him, I won’t hurt you, come here.”

“I know… You’re not. He hurt you too.”

“Yes he did.” Graves sighed “Now come with me, you could use some… everything.” Graves reaches out a hand. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Credence remembered being in the subway. Tina and the man with the messy red hair were talking him down, he was coming back, but then  _ they _ had come. Credence just remembers being in pain and then floating above the scene like he’d been split into a million pieces. He remembers Mr. Graves there... but he was not Mr. Graves, not  _ really _ , he was someone else, the man with the white hair. 

Credence felt like had drifted in and out of existence dozens of times, he saw things when he was back but he was still in a whole separate place. The first thing he remembers after was seeing a man, covered in blood, crawling through central park. Credence didn’t know who he was but he had wanted to help him but he couldn’t. When he tried to call out he was pulled back out of existence. 

The next time after he was outside a hospital window. Tina was there, so was the redheaded man from earlier. With them was another man, he looked like the red head but older, probably a brother, he was yelling something, the two were holding him back. On the bed was the man from before, Credence had realized, but he couldn’t see his face. 

Later he had found himself floating above Tina, who was with the two men from earlier, One was named Newt, and the other, had learned, was Theseus. He also learned that the man in the hospital was Percival Graves, the real Percival Graves. He’s been missing for two and half months while someone named Grindelwald was walking around looking like him. 

Credence wasn’t sure how much time passed, or if what he was seeing occurred in that order, it felt like weeks maybe months, before he was able to at least somewhat control the coming and going. He watches the man, the real Mr. Graves, try to return to his home, he heard him screaming at night, he saw him looking around his shoulder constantly when he walked through the city. He watched him move into a new apartment, taking nothing with him, he watched him find some old looking clothing and wear them. This man was nothing like the other Mr. Graves, he was confident sure, he had many of the same mannerisms, but it was his eyes. His eyes were completely different, he had caught a good glimpse of them when this Mr. Graves looked back at him one night. He had hoped that he had seen Credence, but no.

Credence tried calling out to him, wasn’t able to. Credence had been watching this man for month, he wanted to reach out to comfort him, but he just couldn’t. 

He had watched this man run right at danger and nearly get himself killed on several occasions. When he heard Mr. Graves had quit his job he was relieved. Credence had followed him out here. Once he reached the woods, he felt more whole, he floated closer the the ground, he could almost walk. There were times when he even feel almost complete whole again. 

He had tried to reach Mr. Graves, but there was something there preventing him from getting too close, like he was bouncing off something. When Graves had ran after him that last time and he felt more whole than ever, when he had talked to him he could feel himself coming back. Finally when Mr. Graves asked him to go with him he was himself again. 

Now here he was, sitting across from the man, wrapped in a blanket, drinking water and eating a sandwich. 

“So you’ve been watching me all this time?”

“Yes, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for-”

“No need to apologize, it’s me who should be apologizing for all this...”

“You’re nothing like him you know.”

“Huh?”

“You’re different, your eyes, they’re completely different. And your voice, there’s something else that he didn’t have.”

“Interesting. Well, no one else seemed to notice”

Credence didn’t respond to that, but he was sure he would have noticed.

“Well, I suppose you need a place to stay for a while, you’ll be safe here, away from New York.”

“Oh...” Credence didn’t even realize his situation.

“Don’t worry, I’m not with them anymore, I didn’t agree with them, what they thought was right...”

Graves looked upset. 

“It’s alright, I know. Thank you, Mr. Graves.”

“Oh please don’t call me that! Graves or Percival. Hell I’ve been going by Marty here.”

“Alright, Graves.”

“And no need to thank me, it’s the least I could do.”

It really wasn’t but Credence didn’t want to disagree with him.

“I’m afraid this place is rather small, but we can figure out some system. ”

Credence nods.

“Now, if you don’t mind it looks like you’ve got some wounds, may I look at those?”

Credence didn’t even realize he was bleeding so much, the blanket was red all over. 

“You’re going to have to take off your clothes.”

Credence nods, carefully taking the torn, blood covered fabric off himself. 

Graves looks him over, at his back, his chest, he had cuts everywhere. 

“I can heal those, but I’m afraid they’re going to scar, they were caused by magic. May I?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Credence was covered in scars already, what were a few more. He knew Graves had many scars of his own. Graves started with the cuts on Credences’ back, running a rough palm across each one. His touch was gentle and his magic was nothing like that of the other Graves. The other one’s magic healed his scars, but it had burned and much of the pain had remained after. This was just warm, and Credence felt the pain disappearing with every stroke. After his back was healed, Graves moved over to the ones on his chest and stomach, this had made Credence more nervous but seeing the focus in Grave’s eye's had made him feel more comfortable. 

It was when they had moved to the ones on Credence’s thigh that things got difficult. There was a particularly large cut across his right thigh beginning at his knee. When Graves started running his hand across it Credence jerked. 

“Is everything ok?”

“Yes, it’s fine.”

“Alright, almost done, just a couple more.”

Credence gulped and focused on something else.

“Ok, that seems to be all of them, better?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Now, I imagine you’d like to clean up, I’ll let you take a bath.”

Credence watched Graves walk over to the tub, placing his hands on either side, he watched it fill with water. Graves leaned over the tub and reached down into the water, checking it.

“There’s some clothes in the bedroom, pick out whatever fits. I’ll go finish up outside, let me know when you are done.”

Credence nods. With that Graves walks outside, closing the door behind him. Credence takes the rest of his clothing off and gets into the tub, the water is warm. It was rare that he was able to have a bath before, much less with warm water. 

~~~

Graves had gone outside in an effort to give the boy some privacy. He was going to finish chopping the wood, but the amount of magic he had just done had him exhausted. Graves couldn’t have brought himself to do that much in one day, but he was motivated, he wanted to help Credence. It had distressed Graves that Credence had been trying to reach out to him all that time, but he wonders what Credence had seen, how many breakdowns had he witnessed.   

In the end he was relieved, for many reasons. First that Credence was alive, on thing that  _ he  _ hadn’t completely destroyed. Secondly, that he was here, away from the city that certainly couldn’t have been good for him. Last of all, the he, Graves, wasn’t alone anymore, that he had someone who understood. 

Graves sat on the steps. The sun was starting to set, he barely noticed how quickly the time had passed when he was healing Credence’s injuries. He’d have to rearrange the cottage tomorrow, transfigure some things and maybe add some more privacy. 

Then he heard the door open behind him. Credence stepped out, his hair was wet but finally out of his face. He was wearing a flannel shirt and a pair of Grave’s old pants, they were far too big for him and basically had to hold them up. He’s have to magically alter some things for him eventually.

“Hello. How did your bath go” Graves greeted him from the steps?    

“Good, warm.”

“Would you like a belt for those pants?

“I uh…. I’m not….” He noticed Credence running his fingers over the marks on his other hand. He remembers what Tina had told him about Credence that very first time.

“It’s alright, I understand, I’ll alter them for you tomorrow them.”

“Thank you.”

“Now, how about some dinner? I’m afraid we’ll be stuck with sandwiches for a while, I haven’t figured out the old oven yet and we don’t exactly have a kitchen.”

“It’s ok, I haven’t exactly…. had any food in a while… ”

“That is true.”

They went back inside and Credence sat at the table while Graves made more sandwiches. It was now completely dark outside, they had all the lamps lit. 

“Alright Credence, you can take the bedroom all to yourself, I’ll stay out here.”

“But where will you sleep? On the floor?”

“Well, yes.”

“No, I couldn’t possibly, I’ll take the floor, I slept on the floor in the attic before, I don’t mind.”

“Credence, I can’t sleep on the bed… not after.. You take it, someone should sleep there.”

Credence doesn’t ask more, and Graves fell silent, sad again.

They sat around the table a while longer, eventually Graves asking Credence some more things about the time he spent floating. It seemed the two had a form of mutual understanding that they hadn’t found with anyone else before. Neither dared bring up the subject of  _ Grindelwald _ , yet. 

**~~~**

Graves was able to sleep peacefully that night, not haunted by any nightmares or shadows. He only awoke as the sun was rising to find Credence had fallen asleep curled up on the rug next to him. His hair was falling in his face, the expression on his face calm, he didn’t look worried about anything. Graves stood up carefully not to wake him. It was a shame no one was using the bedroom, he thought. 

Graves looked around, he really needed to transfigure something into a kitchen. There was no electricity here but that wasn’t that big of an issue if he could use magic. He had some eggs, he decided he would boil them in a pot. The pot, of course. remained floating mid air. He set it down to cool and went outside continue chopping the wood from earlier until Credence awoke. 

It was a warm morning, he had taken off his shirt, throwing it on the steps. Chopping wasn’t that difficult, he found. Graves had always been fairly strong before, being an auror required him to stay in shape, but the sleepless nights in last 4 months had led him exercise more, it was something to distract him of course, but it certainly had payed off now. 

He looked back to see Credence leaning in the doorway, staring at him. He had almost forgotten about the large dark scar across his back, Credence must have seen it.

“Good Morning.” He says reaching over to grab his shirt.

“Good morning, sorry I didn’t mean to stare… you were busy.” 

“No it’s alright.”

“The scar- how did that… happened?”

“It was dark magic, only that can leave marks like that. It was the spell  _ he  _ used to take me down in the end...”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

Graves didn’t have anything to add. There was no point on fixating on it now. He put the axe aside and went back inside following Credence. 

**“** Right, I made some eggs, there’s more bread too. **”**

He hands over several eggs to Credence and proceeded to cut the bread. 

“So, Credence, have you ever ridden in an automobile?”

Credence shook his head. 

“Well, it’s about time you did. Now finish your food get dressed, and see if one of these pairs of boots fit you, we’ll be doing some walking.”

Credence’s face lit up and he smiled, and that made Graves happy too.

Credence finds that the boots and clothing fit fine, with some magical alternation of course. He takes a coat and meets Graves outside. 

“Ready?” Graves asks, leaning against a tree outside.

“Yes.”

They hiked down the path to the car. Graves noticed Credence’s shock when he saw the thing. It was maybe a bit of an extravagant car than Graves really needed, but he had just sold two large residences in New York along with a lot of expensive furnishing, he had a lot of money to spare. So he went with this one, it was fast and had lots of space, it reminded him a bit of who he used to be, the fine details of things that were now tainted.

Graves walked up and unlocked the door for Credence, who, still in awe, just sat inside. Graves walked around and sat in the driver's seat, throwing the pack he’s been carrying in the back. 

He started the car, then turned it around to drive back down the road. 

“Do wizards even use cars? I thought you traveled using that… thing… I don’t know what it’s called.”

“Apparate? Yes, well, I can’t exactly do that here, I’m not familiar enough with the land, and there’s too many trees, I could apparate into one.” Graves joked,  “we have other methods of travel too, but those are rather inaccessible here.”

“Ah.”

“Most wizards don’t drive though, especially in the city, Many don’t even know how these things work really.”

“Oh.”

“I learned when I was in Europe, during the war. It’s just something that stuck since.”

They found themselves at an intersection at the end of the small forest road. A sign pointed the way to the highway. Graves turned in that direction and started driving faster, this resulted in a gasp from Credence. The road twisted around a bend and then they were driving past a river, on the other side of which were more mountains, these higher than the others. Graves briefly glanced over to see Credence in awe with his hair flying everywhere. Graves smiled a little at this. 

Soon they were done driving around the bends and there was just open road ahead of them.

“We can go a little faster.” Graves announces, shifting gears and speeding up. Credence nearly screamed at this, the air rushed in messing up both of their hair. 

 

They kept driving down the road, passing several other cars on the road. Credence was wide-eyed and silent, Graves was a little worried this might have been a little too much excitement for him so he decided to turn back towards the cottage. 

As they returned back to where the car was parked, Graves looked at the fallen trees that remain on the road. Well, He could fix that. 

“I’ll be right back Credence, you can just stay here.”

Credence nods, but is curious, looking out the window after him. Graves stands in the middle of the road. First he motions at the trees, they drag across the ground off the road and into the forest. He heard Credence exclaim something from the car, this made him smile a little. Next, Graves repairs the rest of the road, with that he turns around and walks back to the car where he is met by the wide-eyed Credence. 

Graves just starts up the car again and drives down the road. They drive until the road ends at a clearing from which they can see the cottage. Graves steps out of the car and goes around to open the door for Credence. 

“So, how was that for your first time in a car?”

“Amazing.” Credence says, getting up, smiling widely. 

“Good.” Graves pauses for a moment thinking.

“You know, Credence, I could probably teach you.”

“To drive?”

“Well that too I suppose, but no, magic.”

“Magic? How? But… ”

“Credence you’ve got an obscurus inside you, and you’re what? 20? To have survived this long is- you must have some very powerful magic of your own.”

“23, actually. I don’t understand, how is that,  _ he _ said it was useless...”

Graves’ hand saw starting to tighten into a fist, he could feel that rage burning again.

“That fucking- he lied! It won’t be easy, but you have magic Credence, you can learn to use it if you want.”

There was a pause and both fell silent as they stepped into the cottage.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up...” 

Credence didn’t finish the sentence, Graves was still quite, leaning on the back of the chair. 

“No, I’m sorry- it’s... ” Graves says after a while. 

“I know.”

“Now, I have some books on magic, I brought them with me, some of the few things I couldn’t bring myself to part with, you can read them if you’d like.”

“That would be great!” 

Credence’s face lit up again.

“Now, we need a kitchen don’t we? Come stand over here with me.”

Credence ran over to stand beside him. Graves cast several spells and there was now what looked like a more modern stove and an ice box. Graves then pulled up a sheet and there was now a curtain separating the bath tub from the rest of the house. 

“That’s better.” he says once he’s done.

“Yes...”

Graves cooks some potatoes, Credence helps of course. When they finish it’s getting dark outside again. Graves was exhausted after the whole day, and he’s sure Credence must be too with all the excitement. They take their food to the bedroom, the bed functioned like a couch for now, given no one was sleeping on it anyway. They'd put their dishes on the floor, Credence tried to protest, but Graves explained he’d just clean them with magic tomorrow. Graves took out several old maps and some of the old books for Credence. They sat there reading for what felt like hours. Graves didn't even realize they had drifted to sleep. 

~~~

When Graves wakes it’s morning, the sun is up and he is under a blanket and seemed to have slept the whole night in the bed next to Credence. Credence was still holding a box, but had curled up facing him. 

Carefully, Graves takes the book from him along with the others on the bed and carefully stands to go make some tea. He drinks a cup himself, before deciding he’d wake Credence up now.  

He enters the bedroom, the sun shining in through the small window. Credence was still curled up in the middle of the bed. Graves walks over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Credence”

“Hmm?” He turns his head.

“Here, Tea. Time to wake up, we’re going for a hike.“

Credence sits up, taking the cup “Huh? A hike?”

“Yes, there’s hidden lake not too far from here, let see if we can find it. Now, get dressed and I’ll finish up with breakfast.”

Graves finishes with the bacon, he sees Credence emerge from the bedroom wearing one of Graves’ old shirts. Yes graves remember that one, he got it when he had started auror training, it’s probably about as old as Credence is.  

They sit and eat. Credence enjoying the food.

When they step out the air is fresh, wet, a mist still drifting in part of the forest. The sun shining between the trees coming don to the ground in pillars. Credence walks out ahead of him, standing in the light and smiles.

“Shall we go?”

“Of course.”

The old maps tell him that they’d have to hike north and up a somewhat steep hill, but at the end there would a lake, high above sea level. 

They walk in silence mostly, Credence walking enthusiastically ahead of Graves, looking back from time to time to make sure he was heading in the right direction. Graves would nod reassuringly. 

Credence had spent the entirety of his life up to this point living in the city, he wasn’t use to open spaces and forests like this, this was a completely new world to him. Graves had been here on several occasions as a child, and has traveled a lot in his time as an auror. He remembers running through forests in England chasing a dragon in 1915, or rather, being chased by a dragon. Those were some very magical forests. The war was some crazy times in his life.  

They walk out of the forest into a meadow, flowers were only starting to bloom there. Credence stops, looking back at Graves, unsure of where to go next. Graves walks over to him. 

“Still the same way, the main path begins in the forest on the other side.” Graves tells him, motioning to the other side. 

They cross the meadow and find the path in the forest, despite the initial appearance it became steep quickly. As the climb uphill continued they found there was mud along the rocks and they both slipped several times. Graves found himself catching Credence on a number of occasions, the young man was really unaccustomed to the rough terrain. 

After the climb they finally started seeing the types of trees change with the higher altitude. They found themselves on a large area of rock, standing in front of a lake, surrounded by mountains on all sides. The trail separated, if Graves’ map was correct, the other trails led to the other mountains. Those would be interesting to see, but definitely not today, he thought. 

Graves puts the pack he’s been carrying down on the ground and sits on the rock, which had been warmed up by the sun that day. He motions for Credence to sit with him. 

“Take a break?”

“Yes, gladly.” Credence responds sitting down on the ground next to him.   

“I brought sandwiches, here.” Graves hands over the wrapped up food and a canteen of water. Credence takes them happily. 

They sit for a while, and Credence eats. Graves decided to get up and walks over to the lake, he reached in to feel the water, it was cold but it wasn’t ice cold. He stands there for a minute, sun of his face, breeze moving through his hair, he felt alive. 

“I’m going for a swim, Credence.” he announced and proceeded to take of his boots and socks. Credence didn’t register at first, but once Graves took of his shirt he must have finally realized Graves wasn’t kidding.

“Are you being serious? You’re mad!”

“I might very well be.” Graves replied, ignoring Credence’s protests and walking behind one of the large boulders towards the water. 

“Graves! It’s too cold!”

“Is it? A short swim won’t hurt.”

Credence tries to go after him, but Graves takes off his pants throwing them back towards the rest of his things. This stops Credence in his tracks. 

With a smirk at Credence from behind the boulder, Graves ventures into the water. The lake gets deep quickly and he finds himself swimming not too far from the edge. He looks back at Credence, who’s still staring at him from the same spot. 

“Come on in, the water’s fine.”

“What are you thinking?”

“Oh come on.”

“I don’t - I can’t swim.”

“Oh, that makes sense, living in the city all your life. I guess I’ll have to teach you that too.”

“Not now!”

“Ok fine.”

Graves swims around some more but then the cold starts getting to him. He swims closer to the edge of the water until he can stand up on the bottom again. He moved closer and stood where the water was at his waist level. Credence is still looking at him disapprovingly. 

“Alright Credence turn around, I’m coming out.” 

Credence turns back towards the forest and sits on one of the rocks. Graves walks out of the water, hoping there was no one else around who could walk out of the forest the see him naked. Graves dries himself off with his shirt and puts his pant back on. He left the shirt out in the sun and went to join Credence, who was a little startled when he sat beside him, his hair still a little wet. 

“You're absolutely mad.”

Graves shifts from his position sitting up to spread out and lay on the warm rock in an effort to dry out a bit more in the sun. 

“Like I said, most likely. But come on Credence, live a little.” 

No response, after a moment Graves speaks again, more serious this time.

“You would have liked me before all of this, I was a lot less… reckless.” 

After all, Credence knew all about the aftermath of what happened to Graves. He wasn't sure how to respond to this, at least that's what Graves thought.

After a pause Credence responded, quietly, almost a whisper that he didn’t want Graves to hear.

“I like you now, even if you are crazy.”

They sit and eat in silence for a while, finishing the sandwiches. A wind picks up, ripples travel across the water and the trees brush against each other. Credence’s hair blows in his face as he moves his head to look around and Graves can’t help but stare at him for a bit. He realizes it’s getting late and they should head back before it gets too dark.  

“Alright, ready to go back now?” He asks Credence.

“Yes.”

Graves gets up and and goes to get his shirt, hoping it dried off enough and then packed up the remaining water and food. 

The way back was easier, not surprisingly. As they climbed back down the sun was starting to set. When they returned it was dusk, they were both completely tired. 

“Potatoes again?” Graves asked Credence, standing in the ‘kitchen’.  

“Sure. Anything’s fine.”

“Good, because I don’t think we have much else. We might have to go into the town tomorrow.”

Graves finishes cooking and they go eat and read in the bedroom again. 

~~~   
Graves was still reading when he noticed Credence had fallen asleep. Carefully getting up he put away the books and turned off the lights leaving the bedroom. After all the hiking Graves was sore and the floor didn't seem too appealing. He decides to transfigured the armchair into a couch. Something not as soft as the bed but far better than the rug. Exhausted, he falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is wondering [this](https://68.media.tumblr.com/17c449066ba8b66c4e9c782c4e012f12/tumblr_ollx11u2Xg1sfvq1uo3_1280.jpg) is what Graves' car look like. More pics: [X](https://68.media.tumblr.com/d1e9012b8b1fb8a3e26a69e180ddcc39/tumblr_ollx11u2Xg1sfvq1uo2_1280.jpg) [X](https://68.media.tumblr.com/3aa4debe2743839e4cd262bd228626fd/tumblr_ollx11u2Xg1sfvq1uo1_1280.jpg) It's a very dark red, almost black, with a convertible top. 
> 
> The trail they hike with the lake is inspired by an actual place, but I can't remember the name of the lake or trail or find picture of it at the moment, I'll add those in if I find them though! 
> 
> Still looking at maybe 4-5 chapters for this, I have this all planned out, but I don't really have a set chapter length, but the whole thing will ne somewhere between 15-20K


	3. Chapter 3

Graves woke in the middle on the night from a nightmare. Graves wasn’t only haunted in his dreams by  _ him _ , he often saw the ghosts of the five aurors that were killed during his attack. MACUSA had found a trace on the dark wizard and tracked him down in Europe, but  _ he  _ saw them coming. The five of them would corner Graves in his dreams, they were covered in blood, going after him, telling him repeatedly it was his fault they were dead. Graves should have know better, he thought, he’d lead them to their deaths, underestimated the dark wizard. The guilt ate at him heavily for the first couple of weeks. 

Graves was surprised when he had survived that attack, it made no sense at first, until a day or so after recovering for the injuries he found himself in the hole, chained up.  _ He _ wanted Graves for information, to impersonate him, he tortured Graves for it. After the first week Graves began to wonder why he was keeping him alive, the man was using a spell and not polyjuice. He had simply kept Graves alive to mess with. Graves was sure, if he ever saw the dark wizard again, he’d make him regret making that decision.     

He sits up, only to see Credence standing in the doorway of the bedroom. He realized Graves had noticed him.

“Sorry, you yelled something I-”

“Oh... I’m sorry I woke you.”

“No, no I know-  I have nightmares too, about-”

“Yes, I imagine you must. But you should be asleep, I’ll be alright.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” That was a lie, but the boy had enough of his own problems. “Goodnight Credence.”

Credence retreats to the bedroom, and soon after Graves falls back asleep.

 

Graves woke again when the sun was already up to find Credence reading in the kitchen. 

“Good morning, Graves.”

“Good morning?”

“I uh -  I don’t know how to work anything-”

“Oh, right...”

Graves gets up and puts on a random shirt. He proceeds to make breakfast for them.

“Alright Credence, we’re going to have to go into the town to get some food, I had some things, but I only accounted for myself. Up for another drive?”

“Yes, of course!”

“I don’t know if I should let you try this time...”

“Oh, I don’t know anything about cars, I could even… maybe another time.”

“Alright, no pressure of course, but the offer stands whenever you’d like.”

“Thank you, so much.”

“It’s no problem Credence, it’s really been  _ nice _ having someone else around- someone who understands... ”

They finished eating and Graves showed Credence how he cleaned the dishes, with magic. They started getting dressed.

Credence had noticed Graves attempt to pick up the razor several times. The mirrors were covered and Graves was glad Credence didn’t question it. He had been watching Graves for month, and albeit being somewhat concerning at first, in the end Graves was relieved he didn’t need to explain everything to Credence, he just understood. 

Graves ran his hand along the beard, still there like it’s been for months, still annoying. He looked at the razor on the counter again, putting his hand over it, almost as if to make sure it wasn’t going to jump back and bite him when he touched it. 

Credence had noticed him, he walked over to Graves. 

“I could help you with that...”

“Huh?” Graves was caught off guard, unaware Credence was watching him. 

“Shaving. I noticed you touching the razor, I know how to do it, I could help you.”

“Really? Well, I’m not sure that would be- I have some problems with blades.”

“Yes… I saw what happened last…”

“You did, did you. Of course.” Graves sighs. 

“It’s alright- I… just focus on me this time.”

“Well, if you insist. Thank you, Credence.” 

Graves is eager to be rid of the beard, he fills the basin with water and takes out the shaving cream, covering his face in it. He sat in a chair opposite Credence, who  places a towel around his shoulder.

“Ready?” he asks Graves.

“I suppose.”

“Ok now, just look at me.”

Credence gently used his left hand to hold Graves’ jaw still. Graves looks at Credence, at his dark eyes, and he barely notices as the blade passes across his skin. Credence is so gentle and careful with his face this actually felt good. They sat like that for a while, Credence focused on his task and Graves focusing on him. 

“And we’re done.” Credence announces, leaning away from Graves. 

Graves was already feeling the cold on his face, the air brushing past as Credence moved away. Immediately he reached up running a hand a long his cheek, this felt right. He had no idea how he looked of course, he wasn’t quite ready for that. 

He washed his face again and went to dry it off with a towel. “I'll have to cut my hair next I think,” Graves exclaimed, feeling it fall in his face. He looked over at Credence who was dealing with his own hair constantly falling in his face, “you too I would think.” 

Cleaning up the razor, Graves continues on his train of thought. “I could do it in a mirror with a spell, but that's an issue...”

“I thought about what you said yesterday.”

“What exactly?” Graves said looking over at Credence. 

Credence didn’t answer, but walks over to Graves and brushed some hair out of his face. He leaned in and quickly kissed Graves on the lips. Credence stepped back looking back at Graves, waiting for a reaction.

“What was that?” Graves asks him, simply surprised. 

“Living a little.” Credence says with a bit of a smirk. 

“Fair enough.”

They take a moment to gather themselves. Graves has definitely seen the way Credence looks at him, it was difficult to miss. He chooses not to think on it too much, just hoping Credence wasn’t developing feelings for him. 

“Alright, we should probably head into town now, it’s a bit of a drive.”

“Yes of course.”

They walk out to the car, it wasn’t difficult not that it was right in the clearing there. They drove mostly in silence through the small forest roads. 

Once they got out onto the main road, Graves just looked over at Credence with a smirk. Credence was confused for a moment, but then Graves watched his expression change as Graves shifted gears and accelerated down the open road. Credence was smiling again, hair blowing across his face. 

“You know, this is far better than magical travel, I have to tell you.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, apparation is rather unpleasant, and can be extremely dangerous, and floo is just… don’t even let me start.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen apparation… it doesn’t look very comfortable.”

“But this - driving- this is great, if you have the time of course, which I seem to have a lot of now. Besides, I wouldn’t want to attempt to apparate myself, and not to mention you, without the focus of a wand.”

“What happened to your wand?”

“It’s difficult to use, it’s become… unstable since...”

“So that was the same wand.”

“Yes. It’s buried behind the cottage, i wouldn’t want anyone else to find it.”

“Ah.”

“So I’ll have to be teaching you wandless magic… knowing your obscurus situation it might end up being a better for for for you anyway.”

“I’m just happy to learn any magic.”

“I’m sorry I can’t offer much more, getting you a want would be difficult, you need a permit and well, as far as everyone knows you’re dead. Maybe one day.”

Graves slowed the car as they started passing more frequent houses. They saw a number of inns and resorts, finally they descended a hill and entered into the town, at the end of the hill they see a small lake surrounded by cottages on all sides. The road turned sharply at the lake and they saw various shops and restaurants on either side of the road. Graves pulled over to the side of the road and parked behind another car.   

 

They bought a number of thing, food for the week, some new clothing for credence, as well as a new pair of boots.They stopped by a bakery to pick up some lunch, taking It out Graves led credence don't the street and around several buildings to a small park leading to the lake. They sat on the steps and ate their food. Graves decides not to bring up the kiss that happened earlier. It seems to work better that way, and Graves rally isn’t sure what about it to say. He certainly didn’t  _ mind _ but he wasn’t exactly going to take it further. 

Credence seemed rather mesmerized by the lake, it was perfectly still, the mountain and surrounding cottages reflecting in it perfectly. The name, Mirror Lake, was certainly a good fit. 

Clouds began drifting across the sky as they drove back. The clouds move and cast massive shadows across the mountain sides. It grew darker in the forests. The tops of the higher peaks were no longer visible, obscured by the clouds. The wind picked up too, occasionally whistling by as they drove towards the cottage.  

When they arrived back, Credence helped take the groceries and shopping in, despite Graves saying he’d just float it all in. Later they made some grilled chicken and vegetable and sat down to eat.   

“So Credence, ready to try some magic after we finish?”

“Now? Really?”

“Yes, I see no reason why not. I’ll get some things and meet you outside.”

When they finish and clean up Credence goes outside while Graves digs through his suitcase. He finds two quills and an old book and goes out. It was an especially dark afternoon, Credence was leaning against a tree, looking around at the forest. 

“What’s that?” he asks.

“Feathers, well, quills. We’ll try a simple thing first, levitation.”

Graves sets the feathers down on the ground. “Now watch what I do,” he says, lifting his arm. He moves his arm and lifts the feather, making it move around a bit as he motions with his hand. 

“You have to focus on the feather, imagine lifting in.”

“Alright I’ll try.”

Credence tries several times with no avail. He feels defeated, he feels the obscurus stirring. 

“Maybe I am a squib.”

“No Credence, you certainly aren’t, I’m sure of it. You’ve only just started, I never said this would be easy.”

“Hmm?”

“I’m really not the best teacher, but people have always said to try clearing your mind before trying this.”

“That’s… difficult...”

“Yes I understand, it never really worked for me… emotions, often anger did...”

Credence tries again, this time he summons the thing inside him, he thinks of his mother again, of everything, then focuses on the quill. The lamps flicker, a wind picks up and thy hear it whistling through the trees and blows graves’ hair about.  

There’s a crack and the thing explodes, leaving a fire in it’s place.

“Ah!” Graves is surprised, he rushes over to put out the fire. “That’s not what I expected, but it’s something.” 

“I’m sorry… I-”

“No, this is good, this is progress! Don’t be sorry Credence, you apologize too much for things you are not at fault for. ”

“I’m so- uh… alright.”

“You have a lot of magic, and it’s very powerful, given your ability to survive... it must be. But focusing it, that’s an issue.”

“So what does that mean?”

“I just have a theory… just go with me here.”

Graves walks around the cottage. He walks over to the patch of empty dirt and starts digging with his hands, and after a moment he pulls out an old box.

“Is that...”

“My wand, yes.”

Graves carefully opens the box and brings it up to Credence. 

“I’d rather not touch it again myself, but you can take it.”

Hesitantly, Credence picks the thing up. He can feel the magic buzzing in his hands. 

“Now, just wave it around a bit, just point it somewhere else.”

Credence follows the instructions, turning away from graves and waving it around. Suddenly there are sparks coming off it, bright white.

“Ah good. Now let me show you the spell.”

Graves walks around to stand behind Credence. 

“The spell is wingardium leviosa, make sure you get the pronunciation right.”

“Wingardium leviosa?”

“Yes good. Now point the wand at the feather, and move your arm” Graves puts one hand on Credence’s shoulder and the other around his right forearm which holds the wand. He moves Credence’s arm to show him the correct motion. “Alright try when you are ready.”

“Wingardium leviosa!” Credence says and points at the feather. Nothing happens.

Graves steps in closer towards Credence and almost whispers into his ear. “It’s alright, try again. I’ll help you this time.” Graves moves his hand to Credence’s ribs and the other to his wrist. Credence leans into him, letting Graves guide him. “Now breath, and try again.”

Credence does as told, breathing in deep and commands the feather again, “wingardium leviosa.”

This time the feather lifts, floating up in the air as Graves moves his arm up, but then it spirals back to the ground.

“Did I- Is that?” Credence asks in surprise.

“You you did Credence! What did I tell you” Graves looks at him with a very rarely smile.

Credence smiles back at him and then turns around to hug the man. Graves is surprised by this, letting out a grunt at first, but then puts his arms around Credence, hugging him back. 

They hold the embrace for a minute but are disrupted by the crack of thunder in the background and the drops or rain that start falling on them. Graves breaks the embrace. “We should go back inside now, looks like it’ll be a storm.”

“Yes.” Credence returns. 

Graves proceeds to back into the cottage but Credence lingers for a minute. He turns the wand over in his hands. There are fine cracks along the whole surface, as if the thing had splintered into hundreds of pieces and then been put back together, but not quite right. The texture was also unusual, Credence of course wasn’t sure what wands were supposed to be like, but this one looked like it had been burned, though it was barely noticeable on the dark finish unless one was looking up close. 

  
It was strange, Credence thought, that he was now using the wand once wielded by the only two men he had ever kissed. 


	4. Chapter 4

In all the months that credence had spent shifting in and out of existence, the time he spent learning move and see everyone, learning to come and go as when he needed, he learned to control the thing inside him. 

The obscurus had kept him alive after the attack but as he recovered and grew stronger, so did his control of it. Since coming here he kept the thing locked up and away, he could feel it fighting back at times but he was always able to keep it at bay. 

Now Credence has learned that he can summon the thing. He felt it stirring when he tried magic. He wondered, if he tried to turn into that thing again, would he be able to control it completely. Credence was afraid to try it of course, he didn't want to get stuck in the in between that was not quite reality. And certainly, he did not want to destroy anything here.

~~~

It had rained for a couple days and Graves and Credence had been stuck sitting in the cabin. Credence didn’t mind, he kept reading the books. He didn’t want to risk practicing any magic and exploding something, but he would read up on theory. Graves, on the other hand, was starting to have a hard time sitting still. He had reorganized the cottage several times, experimented with cooking and then at one point just started doing pushups in the middle of the floor. Graves had been used to working on something constantly and found this sort of situation with no work and limited space difficult. 

Credence still sometimes heard Graves crying at night, he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t want to intrude. Credence had only been staying here for almost two weeks now, he’d known Graves longer of course, but he was still a stranger to Graves, even if there was a strong connection between them. He just wanted to comfort the man, go over to the other room and just hug him, not saying a word. 

They’d fall asleep in the same space often, or rather Credence often found Graves asleep next to him and would curl up next to him, not even touching him necessarily. Credence would find that Graves slept the more peaceful those nights. Whether is was because he just tired himself out or the closeness, the proximity to another person that helped him. Credence wasn’t sure, but if he was able to at least somehow comfort him he was glad.  

Credence stayed up some nights, listening to the woods at night, enjoying the quiet. This was one such night, Credence knew immediately when the rain calmed and the only sounds remaining were the drops off water off of the roof and surrounding trees, and the breath of Graves who’d fallen asleep on the bed beside him. 

Slowly getting up, Credence puts on his boots and ventures outside. The sky was almost clear, the last of the clouds drifting away to reveal the now old moon and all the stars in the sky. There were so many stars, they covered the sky. The sight made him gasp. Credence grew up in the city, he never found himself outside of it at night, never in his life had he seen so many stars. 

He runs back inside to wake Graves, carefully not to frighten him.

“Come with me, outside, it’s stopped raining!” He says quietly.

“Yes I hear that. I also realize it’s probably 3am.”

“Please?”

“Oh alright.” Graves stands reluctantly, doing up his shirt and putting on his boots. He grabs an unlit lantern and they go outside, wandering a little away from the cottage. 

“Look at the stars!”

Graves looks up. Yes the stars here are breathtaking, he hadn’t had a chance to look at them since that first night. Cadence just keeps staring up, fixated. Graves stays there for a while, letting Credence enjoy everything. 

“Come on it’s cold we should go back inside” Graves finally days after what felt like an hour.

“Alright”

Graves lights the lantern and leads them back to the cottage. He led back to the bedroom where Credence climbed into the bed. 

“Goodnight Credence.” He says ready to return to the couch.

“Wait, can you stay?”

Graves stands there for a moment, contemplating. Credence looks back at him, then adds “Please?”

“Ok” he whispers, turning off the lantern, throwing off his boots and climbing into the bed next to Credence. 

“Goodnight, Graves.”

“Goodnight.”

~~~

A thick fog moved through the forests that morning. It cast shadow across the mountains and forest floor. Graves woke early, leaving Credence to continue sleeping. 

Graves was pleased to be able to make coffee again, he had picked some up the last day while in town, along with a whole variety of different teas for Credence to try. 

Credence got up soon after and stood in the doorway.  

“Well good morning. Coffee?” Graves asked when he noticed him.  

“No, I’m fine thanks.”

“Suit yourself.”

As they sat down to eat. 

“So credence, once the fog lifts a bit how do you feel about going for a drive?”

“Really?”

“Sure why not. We can go for another hike after, I found another place.”

Graves packs some extra food and hiking supplies into a pack and they walk down the path over to the car. Graves starts the car and turns it around before getting out and trading seats with Credence. 

“Now Credence, remember the pedals?”

“I think.”

“Alright lets try.”

Credence does as told and the car starts moving. 

“Excellent, now just steer where you want to go, now give it more gas is you want to go faster”

“I think... This is fine for now.”

“Alright”

They so very slowly drive, more like roll, towards the end of the road. 

Credence can’t imagine going faster, he’s already so confused by all the pedals and switches. Graves makes it all look so effortless and natural, knowing exactly what to do when. The man made everything look effortless really, driving, magic, cooking, keeping it together after everything that had happened to him. It certainly didn’t help that he was so handsome and confident while at it. 

Credence stops and parks the car before the intersection with the main road.

“Don’t want to try going on the big road?” Graves asks.  

“Not today.”

“That’s fine.”

Graves reaches over and turns off the car. 

“There’s an entrance to a hiking trail not too far from here, it’s a mountain but pretty small, what do you think?”

“Sure”

They switched places again and Graves drove off, much faster than what Credence had been doing. Credence paid a lot more attention to Graves than the scenery this time, after trying it himself, he had a far greater appreciation for how smoothly Graves was able to turn and shift gears. 

Graves turned onto a small road in the forest with a sign indicating they were entering some sort of camp. They parked near a large lake, a number of paths lead away, one up to a large lodge building. 

Credence follows graves down the main path to where it splits into two, Graves turns around and asks him. “Short steep trail or the longer, more mild trail? Are you up for some rock climbing?”

“Ok, climbing sounds interesting.”

“Alright, more fun it is.”

The trail was steep indeed, many areas of flat rock and large boulders sticking out of the ground, many areas had staircases carved into the rock. Credence still had some difficulty with the uneven surfaces, Graves had some difficulty as he really hadn’t been out in nature like this in a long time himself. 

After about two hours of climbing they finally reached the top. It was completely flat, except a few small trees and some moss growing on the rocks. They weren't all that high up, but the surrounding mountains were visible from all sides.  

Graves sat down looking out at the view, Credence sat beside him. 

“Water?” Graves asks reaching into the pack.

“Sure” Credence takes it. He takes a drink then passes it back to Graves. He then stands up to walk around and look at view all around. There were mountains everywhere, many lakes too, some hidden in between the mountains, not visible otherwise. There was still some fig in some valleys and clouds moved casting shadows across the slopes. Credence was awestruck.   

“It’s amazing, the view is beautiful!”

Graves looks over to where Credence is standing. The young man brushed back his hair with one hand, his loose fitting shirt blowing around him. Credence was squinting a little in the sun light, a smile across his face.

“Yes, it sure is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter should be up in a couple days, it's done just needs some editing!


	5. Chapter 5

It’s been almost a month since Credence had been staying with Graves. Credence hasn’t tried anything since that first kiss weeks earlier.

It was now May, the trees were completely green and flowers had started going all around the cottage. They had explored a number of trails around the area and Credence was really enjoying being out in nature. 

Graves had taught Credence a fair number of spells, both for with the wand and wandless. He was able to do some basic cooking on his own now too. They’d grown more comfortable around each other, Credence was less shy, more willing to talk about things, Graves was still sometimes difficult to read though. Credence had a hard time trying to figure out what was going on in his head. Graves had difficulty trusting people, and it was for sure that he trusted Credence far more than anyone before.

 

It was rather late at night,  they had returned home after a rather long hike and were sitting on the bed reading. Credence was rather tired and became fixated by the sight Graves sitting up reading in the dim light beside him. 

Credence sat up, facing Graves and puts his hands around his neck. Graves looks up at him, but doesn't protest at all, so Credence leans in to kiss him. Longer this time, and Graves kisses him back. However, after a moment Graves slides his hands to Credence’s waist. 

“Credence...” Graves says, gently pushing Credence away from him and slipping out of his embrace. This startled Credence a little and he moved away from Graves.

“Oh, I’m so sorry- I didn’t- ”

“No Credence, it’s just that..I can’t help but- I don’t know who you’re seeing here...I understand were quite… intimate… with  _ him _ . I won’t ever judge you for anything...”

Credence sighs, “yes, I wanted him… and he knew that and used that ..he kissed me once.”

“Oh.”

“But this is different… Graves you’re nothing like you just barely look like him. Look, I don’t know what you were like before, but I’ve seen you now...”

“I’m an absolute mess now.” Graves says softly, “there’s barely anything left.” 

“Well there was literally almost nothing left of me for a while there! And I’m here, because of you really, even if you didn’t see me.” Credence takes the chance to wrap his arms around Graves and hold him tight. “Maybe you were in pieces too. But you put yourself back together, you are different now, maybe but… I love you now.”

“I think it’s quite evident that I’m not very good at expressing my emotions or talking about things...” Graves runs a hand through Credence’s hair. “but I think it’s pretty clear I would have probably died here weeks ago if I was alone, without you here.” 

“We have that in common.”

“I’m sorry, Credence, for everything.”

“Please, don’t be.”

They sit there for a while, in the dim light of the lamp. Credence still with his arms around Graves.

“I take it you’re not going to let me go back to the couch.”

“No.”

“Alright, then.”

Graves kisses the top of Credence’s head and then wraps his arms around him. 

~~~

Graves wakes with Credence in his arms. Somehow, it feels right, he decides to stay like that until Credence wakes up.It isn’t long before Credence starts shifting around and reaches to brush his hair out of his face. 

“Well Good morning” Graves says softly.

“Yes, good indeed.” Credence says before reaching up to quickly kiss Graves.

“Do you want coffee or tea? I’ll be right back.”

“The earl grey, please.”

Graves get up, leaving Credence still half asleep in the bed and walks over to the kitchen. He sets the tea kettle and proceeds to now go through the Credence’s now tea  _ cabinet.  _ He had really taken a liking to tea and all it’s different flavours, Graves didn’t mind but was often unable to tell apart all the different types teas, he just liked his coffee and plain black tea. Finding the purple box that was the earl grey he grabbed two cups. 

While Graves waits for the tea and coffee he steps outside. I was warm and sunny today, with a slight breeze. A perfect day to go to a beach, he thinks. 

Stepping back inside, Graves takes out some pastries they had bought at a bakery several days earlier and sends the plate into the bedroom. Picking up the cups, he follows. 

The plate sets itself down on the bed and Graves sat down, passing Credence the tea. 

“There a beach some way away, do you want to go today?”

“Oh I don’t know…”

“Well we don’t have to go in the water “

“No, it’s just… I’ve never… been to a beach”

“Well, then it seems we have to.”

After they finish eating, Graves packs some thing, towels, extra clothes, and they head out to the car. 

It’s a while before they find themselves driving along a lake and into another town. Cottages are scattered all around the lake. They drive past the main beach, where a number of people were already lounging and splashing around in the water, around to a smaller area, parking in the shade. 

Graves gets out and leaves their stuff and his shoes on the grass. He proceeds to then take everything off except his pants. Credence is hesitant at first but then does the same. 

Graves wades into the water, and Credence follows reluctantly. Graves dives into the water and swims around a bit. Credence just waits standing to where the water is at his thigh.

“Come on.”

“Uhh...”

Graves swims back towards Credence and then stands to wade towards him, reaching out a hand for Credence to take.

“It’s alright, do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

Credence takes Graves’ hand and the walk into the water, further until it reached up to Graves chest. 

He turns to face Credence, taking his other hand. They linger like that for a second, Credence focusing on Graves with his neutral expression and not wet hair falling in his face and dripping down his neck. Credence leaned in to kiss him, but a boat passed waving at them and he stepped back.

“Are you alright?” Graves asks. 

“Yes it’s fine”

“Alright, let's head back.”

They walk back out, still holding hands. Graves floats over the towels, which meet them and wrap around them. Graves lays another out a larger one out on the sand for them to sit on.

Credence wraps the towel around himself and looks out across the lake. He was still amazed by the space here, all the green, and the fresh air, he couldn’t imagine going back to live in the city again. He was actually happy here.

Graves lays beside him, leaning up on one arm, still not wearing a shirt.

“So, another beach trip in the future?” he asks.

“Yes” 

Credence responds but he’s now rather distracted by Graves spread across beside him. Water droplets still all over his body, his pants wet, clinging tight against his form. Graves brushed his free hand through his wet hair in an attempt to bring it back to his regular hairstyle, unsuccessfully.

Creedence turns towards Graves around and leans down to kiss him. Graves’ free hand moves to Credences hair. Credence puts a hand on Graves shoulder, tracing the scar there with his thumb. He pulled away for a second, Graves tried to follow his lips but stayed there, just looking back at Credence in wonder.

Credence shifted his sitting position. He brought his hand up to the side of Graves’ face, running it across his cheek. He then moved in, kissing Graves passionately. This made Graves lose his balance and fall on his back, groaning a bit at this. 

“Oh sorry,” Credence says, not really meaning it, before Graves can respond Credence moves on top of him, one hand on the side of his face, and kisses him again.

He runs his hands across Graves’ shoulders, and Graves moves his down Credences sides to his waist and finally places one around his thigh.

Graves tries to say something and Credence breaks the kiss.

“We should probably head back… continue this somewhere more comfortable...”

“Yes...”

Credence sits up, letting Graves stand. 

Graves reaches out a hand to help Credence up then does a spell for dry them off a bit. They pack everything and  

Get back in car and drive back. Credence watched Graves drive a bit faster than usual, with the top of the car down, he was smiling. Credence wasn’t even paying attention to surrounding mountain views. Graves briefly glanced over at Credence and for a minute his hand wanders over to Credence’s thigh. Only briefly, as Graves moves his hand back to the clutch as they approach an intersection.

When Graves parks, Credence reaches over to kiss him before getting out of the car and running towards the cottage, looking back with a smile to see if Graves is following him. Graves shakes his head at this but still smiles, he grabs their things and then follows Credence inside. 

There, Graves immediately drops everything, kicking off his boots and leaving his boots by the door. Credence, already having removed much of his clothes, goes up to Graves kissing him deeply and unbuttons his shirt. 

The stumble over to the bedroom and close to door behind them, despite the fact that there wasn’t anyone else around for miles. 

~~~

In the afternoon Credence and Graves found themselves in the bathtub together. Credence sitting with his back to Graves, playing with the bubbles while Graves washes his back, gently tracing his fingers across his scars. 

Graves kissed the back of his neck. 

“I can try to heal some of these, you know. Not the ones caused by magic of course, but the others if you would like?”   

“Really? You don’t have to.” 

“But would you like me too?”

Credence thinks, he’d wanted to be rid of those scars for years. It was finally around Graves that he didn’t feel so ashamed, but he’d take any chance to be free of them.

”Yes.”

Carefully Graves went over each one, Credence could feel warmth on his skin as each disappears. When he finishes he kisses Credence’s shoulder again. 

“Your hands?”

Credence turns around and reaches his hands out. Graves takes one and Credence watches all the lines disappear from hs wrists to his fingers. He’s had scars there since he was 10 years old. Now all there was in front of him was Graves, and after a very long time Credence could finally say he was happy.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done!
> 
> There is going to be a sequel to this, some time later!
> 
> \---
> 
> Big thanks to Mak (bygoneboy) for listening to me scream about this and all my ideas.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, comments are appreciated! 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at: [ the-night-painter](https://the-night-painter.tumblr.com) or [ doitforcredence](https://doitforcredence.tumblr.com)


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